She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
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Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
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Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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