you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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