I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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