drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Houston, we have a blender
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
