Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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