Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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