On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
