He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?