It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
