i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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