kristin has been a bad kristin
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
