I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize