Will you blow on my dice?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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