u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
