I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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