Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
