Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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