he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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