..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize