So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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