so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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