The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
