Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
