I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
