i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
