I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
