You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
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in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
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I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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