But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He shit in the fireplace
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
