I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
