i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
