Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
