I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
