New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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