sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
