On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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