so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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