a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
be right there i have to get my cape
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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