Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
