how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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