another moral hangover. fuck.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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