Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
