It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
