Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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