That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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