Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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