East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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