In America we eat man semen.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize