SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She's the barista slut.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
