no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
