I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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