The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George