Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together