Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach