So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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