I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he thought i was a dude.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
