are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We are two peas in an std pod
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
