i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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