so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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