Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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