I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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